2025 The Year of Healing

So, after years of not understanding why I don’t seem to react normally to events or people, I have got it down to PTSD.

My symptoms erupted after I began my memoir, more about that later, and suddenly I was waking up several times a night shaking and sweating and unable to get back to sleep.

The memoir is still on the go, I just have to stay away from the various events that set off my trauma. Not easy but there are numerous parts about travel which don’t press any buttons so I am trudging on with it.

It’s winter here in the south of England and cold which has added to my feelings of isolation.

Onwards towards healing which I feel I am just beginning.

My GP referred me for EMDR which I was encouraged by. I was assessed and 6 weeks later I began my therapy. This week I had my first experience of this particular therapy. The night following my first go at it I slept, properly for the whole night. And nearly all the following day and last night as well. 2 whole nights of sleep consecutively is like a miracle. Full sleep, dreams, no jumping awake, amazing.

This is why I have finally managed to write a blog. Not sleeping is its own form of torture, jagged thinking, body heavy, no energy, paranoid thoughts, all of this makes life very difficult. And, although this has been worse recently, I have been living with it for years.

The reason for writing this at this time is to say, ‘if this sounds familiar and you are suffering this way, ask for help.’

I have had one grounding session and one actual treatment to help me find a safe place and I have slept. It is truly wonderful.

Please don’t go on suffering, ask for help.

And life can be so beautiful.